An unknown author once wrote, "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
Did you know that anger causes an increase in your heart rate, blood pressure, and blood sugar levels, and that it also triggers other chemical changes in your body? Did you also know that it is unhealthy, both emotionally and physically, to hold in or repress emotions such as anger?
This is why it is so important that you learn how to safely release your feelings of anger after you take your anger time-out. Releasing anger does not mean that you are not in control—it is a natural and necessary aspect of the anger management process.
You should release your anger in a private place where it won't distract others, injure people, damage property, or focus attention on you. Since everyone responds to anger differently, there are a number of techniques you may have to try to release your anger appropriately. Several techniques you can use are described below.
1. Breathing exercises
The breathing technique requires you to take slow, deep breaths through your nose. Make sure you fill and then empty your lungs completely when you inhale and exhale. Imagine yourself breathing in calm thoughts and exhaling negative ones.
2. Talking
Talk with someone who is uninvolved with the situation that caused your anger and will be supportive. Explain your feelings, not just what happened. Talk about why you feel angry. This can help you to release your anger by enabling you to gain perspective.
3. Writing
The third technique for releasing anger is writing. You should do this in a private, quiet place. Write about how you feel—why you are angry and with whom you are angry. Allow your feelings to come out as you write.
This technique is most effective if you write without thinking about it first, so you don't censor yourself. You might want to write an imaginary letter to the person you're angry with, but you shouldn't give it to that person.
4. Expressing anger physically
The fourth technique, expressing anger physically, should be done when you're alone so other people won't see how angry you are. Sometimes people experience intense feelings of anger and feel they are losing control. This kind of anger should be a rare occurrence in your life.
If you frequently feel you may lose control when you are angry, you should seek professional counseling about anger management. Otherwise, you can use the following techniques to express your anger physically and privately.
Take a towel or old piece of clothing and twist it in your hands as tightly as you can. Try to be conscious of releasing your anger through wringing the cloth. Do this with your hands out of sight or in an unoccupied room.
Let the anger out with your voice. Yell as long as you need to release your anger. Don't be afraid of sounding silly. The best place for yelling is probably in your car with the windows rolled up. If making noise is a problem, an alternative is to scream into a pillow, which will muffle the sound.
Throw a soft ball as hard as you can if you're indoors, or throw any kind of ball outside. If you play racquetball or tennis, go play a game before addressing a situation that bothers you.
Other safe ways to physically express anger are to punch a cushion or pillow, tear up some paper or cardboard, break some pencils into smaller pieces, or pop some bubble wrap used for packing.
It's very important to release your angry feelings. You can use different techniques, such as breathing exercises, talking, writing, and expressing your anger physically to express your anger appropriately and avoid outbursts.
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